Sudocrem Face, Lipstick In the Fridge and Smelling of Biscuits

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As I sit here writing this blog I do have a huge wad of sudocrem on my face. An unwelcome spot emerged last night on my chin and despite ignoring it; my boyfriend’s eyes were drawn to it throughout our conversation. The looks I got seem to be suggesting that the spot had to go and it had to go now! He looks at me like I’m an alien with white spots all over my face as I desperately try to tell him every girl does it, but he doesn’t look convinced.It’s seriously the cheapest and best way to get rid of the little rotter’s.

Who discovered this? I have no idea although I envisage a single mother somewhere frantically changing her baby’s nappy armed with sudocrem and amidst the nappy changing palaver she ends up smearing her face with sudocrem. And then three hours later she catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror and wipes away the sudocrem and *gasp* the spots are gone! Frantically telling everyone, the rumour spreads around the beauty world that this household product is actually better.

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Another thing that I do which my boyfriend can’t understand is putting my make up in the fridge. Only in the summer months really, as we had a bit of sunshine the other day I gathered up the melt-able items and put them safely in the fridge. There’s nothing worse than going to slap on your favourite lipstick on a summers day and it squishing all over your face, such a sad waste. This is why I’m always prepared. Men just don’t get it. When my boyfriend goes to open the fridge to get some juice, I watch as his perplexed face try to comprehend why there are lipsticks, lip balms and moisturisers in the fridge. Before he can I ask, I tell him. Deep down I’m sure he knows its genius.

Finally if you’re as pasty as me and love the invention on fake tan I’m sure you will know this feeling. After what feels like hours of exfoliating, moisturising and frantically applying tan before it dries. CIRCULAR MOTIONS!! Once it’s on I stand there frozen to the spot in my underwear daring not to touch anything in case, heaven forbid the tan….streaks.

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Finally I get in some nice pyjamas and get in to bed hoping I don’t stain the bed sheets, but knowing I must sleep all night with the tan on to look like Kim Kardarshian. My boyfriend turns to me “you smell like biscuits” he announces. What? Biscuits? Why would I smell like biscuits? Apparently this is a common thing, I can’t smell biscuits but it seems men can! I suppose there could be worst smells than a hob nob. Why is it men don’t have to go through the rig morale of beauty? Although I wouldn’t change it for anything, I love the enjoyment of getting dressed up, doing my makeup and even fake tanning. I’d never give it up, apart from sudocrem, give me flawless skin and I’d definitely give up Sudocrem!

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